


Swimming with the prince - An April Fool's Joke

by GaiaSophia



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: April Fools, Don't read this unless you want to claw your eyes out, F/M, M/M, Shrek and Mario Double Team Sidon, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 18:04:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14170527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaiaSophia/pseuds/GaiaSophia
Summary: A dumb crackfic I made for April Fools. Below is the original description:A heartwarming tale of the reader going for a swim with the Zora Prince. Or so she thought





	Swimming with the prince - An April Fool's Joke

Clear bright skies and warm summer air made for a perfect day to swim. Sidon invited you and of course you couldn’t say no to the prince. You strolled to the market square, the place where you agreed to meet up. Sidon was standing there, alive and proud. “Hello (Y/N)! Are you ready?” the prince said upon your arrival. You nodded, trying hard to hold down the blush threatening to burn up your cheeks.

You loved swimming with the shark prince. Sidon would hold you up and swing you around. Sometimes, he even gave you kisses on your cheek. You both were interested in one another, but both of you were too shy to say anything. So, you have been riding the wave of flirtatious behavior for about a month.

As the two of you were ready to leave, Sidon suddenly stopped. “Who…is that!” You looked around to see what he was talking about. Your eyes rested on a fabulous man in pink. “I’m sorry (Y/N). But I have found another I would like to swim with.” The prince danced over to the man. “Please sir, what is your name!”

“My name is Bolson! Oh sire! You have struck my soul!” Bolson placed his hands on Sidon’s bent knee.

“If I may be so bold…will you marry me?” Sidon asked. In response, the whole market screamed. Fan girls began throwing themselves to the ground, drowning in tears. Their prince was finally off the market.

“Yes!” Bolson replied. The two then shared a long and fabulous kiss.

The glow from that kiss was so vibrant and shiny, that it attracted all of the Hyrule bass in the river. Suddenly, out of the wave of fish, a beacon of hope shone. It was none other than the legendary hero, Shrek. His green skin glowed in the brightness that was Sidon’s and Bolton’s kiss.

“What are you doing in my swamp!” Shrek cried.

Sidon immediately got on his knees and bowed. “Oh, great Zora deity! I didn’t realize the spark of our love was too much! It has awakened you from your long slumber!”

“Well, it’s ogre now.” Shrek replied. He took out an onion from his jacket and held it up for all the Domain to see. “Behold! The holy onion!” All of the domain now bowed to the deity. As was common knowledge in the domain, Shrek, the great holy one, was higher than the goddess Hylia herself. Shrek used his onion to cover himself in a holy glow. “Only I am the brightest!”

But, a loud “Yahoo!” interrupted the god’s speech. A green pipe erupted out of the ground. “It’s a me! Mario!” A round plumber flew out of the pipe and onto the ground.

Shrek was visibly insulted at the interruption of his worship. “Farquad! He yelled.”

“No, Imma Mario! And a you is going to die!” Mario took out a green dragon and started to squeeze. The dragon shot eggs out of its butt towards Shrek. But, the lord of the swamp did a cartwheel to avoid the on slot. He then took out more onions and barraged them at the plumber. But Mario was too quick. “You a missed a me! Yahoo mother-fucker!”

Sidon appeared to have enough of the fighting in his domain. “My gods!” he yelled. Please, if your sexual tension is not appeased…you both will die. Come, let my body be a temple for you!” Shrek and Mario both nodded to each other.

Mario entered Sidon from behind. “Yahoo! You da best!” he cried. Shrek used the prince’s mouth for pleasure. “Oh! I am ogre the moon!” Sidon did his best to appease the gods. The girls, once almost dead from fainting, now encouraged their prince. Even a certain Hylain hero found himself cheering.

Sidon felt a renewed sense of pride. He took their dicks with gusto. Shrek was the first to spill his liquid inside the prince. “I am orgre!” Shrek faded back into his deep sleep beneath the domain. Sidon looked back at the plumber “You can do it! I believe in you!”

“Imma come now! Yahoo!” the plumber yelled. He too, faded away. Sidon, with the seed of the gods now rose from his bent over state.

“Now my friends! I must leave you as I am called to another world.”

The prince of the Zora was always fast in the water. Now, he is the fastest thing on land. The prince goes by a new name, Lightning McQueen.

“Ka chow!”

**Author's Note:**

> Happy April Fools everyone


End file.
